06-27-2008, 03:05 AM
I read everything and at a local coffee shop there is an endless list of personals that have inspired me to write some of my own for fun. This is in no way meant to offend anyone but rather to poke fun at the silly expectations that people carry into their relationships. Feel free to make your own contributuions.
MEN SEEKING…
There’s ugly then me
Older overweight, sedentary male seeking attractive, professional young woman, who is ok with smoking, drinking and mild drug use. Worth the call!
Let’s get Depressed, …together!
Lonely, hates to have fun guy, seeks kindred femme with black rain cloud over her head.
Parasite seeks host
Angry opinionated male seeks female to support him. I’ll grow on you.
I’m out here somewhere
Easily distracted SM seeking kind hearted female to give him the directions back to his home.
Short wealthy pudgy man
Has wart on nose. Been told has great personality. Seeking hot girl for fun times.
“Mommy R U out there”
SM seeks BBW, NS who is not afraid of sharing some much-needed maternal bonding time.
Out in Space
Aloof SM with mild schizophrenia, seeking SF to listen to all the voices with him
Pimp seeks new b**ches
Want a great job with great pay? If so you have come to the right player! Stop working in your dead end job and start a new career with me that will really take you places. Make some bling while you shake your thing, baby.
Women seeking…
Hopeless Romantic
Just kidding, not really romantic just hopeless. Please call anyway!
Chances are…
I’m not the right girl for you. However, I’ve watched enough romantic comedies to know that spontaneous chemistry can happen. Which gives me a very narrow chance of being your one true love. Don’t let this possible chance at happiness pass you by CALL!
Single, Hot, Attractive Female
Seeking male for wild times. Me: young attractive busty brunette with mild psychotic episodes. Let me ride you to ecstasy then nag your a** to an early grave. You get to take me and in turn I take you, to the bank of course. It is a win win situation. We both get screwed.
The Personals
MEN SEEKING…
There’s ugly then me
Older overweight, sedentary male seeking attractive, professional young woman, who is ok with smoking, drinking and mild drug use. Worth the call!
Let’s get Depressed, …together!
Lonely, hates to have fun guy, seeks kindred femme with black rain cloud over her head.
Parasite seeks host
Angry opinionated male seeks female to support him. I’ll grow on you.
I’m out here somewhere
Easily distracted SM seeking kind hearted female to give him the directions back to his home.
Short wealthy pudgy man
Has wart on nose. Been told has great personality. Seeking hot girl for fun times.
“Mommy R U out there”
SM seeks BBW, NS who is not afraid of sharing some much-needed maternal bonding time.
Out in Space
Aloof SM with mild schizophrenia, seeking SF to listen to all the voices with him
Pimp seeks new b**ches
Want a great job with great pay? If so you have come to the right player! Stop working in your dead end job and start a new career with me that will really take you places. Make some bling while you shake your thing, baby.
Women seeking…
Hopeless Romantic
Just kidding, not really romantic just hopeless. Please call anyway!
Chances are…
I’m not the right girl for you. However, I’ve watched enough romantic comedies to know that spontaneous chemistry can happen. Which gives me a very narrow chance of being your one true love. Don’t let this possible chance at happiness pass you by CALL!
Single, Hot, Attractive Female
Seeking male for wild times. Me: young attractive busty brunette with mild psychotic episodes. Let me ride you to ecstasy then nag your a** to an early grave. You get to take me and in turn I take you, to the bank of course. It is a win win situation. We both get screwed.
