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The Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr
Author MessageThe Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr
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The Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Uhr-KulmbizharrAdmiral 01-24-2015

The Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr

Once upon a time, there was a bargeman upon the River Ruin, whose mind was a nightmare. So pessimistic was he, that he believed he lived in the worst of worlds. One day, the bargeman stood aboard his coal barge as it was tugged up the river by a team of oxen.

"Woe unto me! Wifeless and childless, goldless and luckless. Despair fills my life and Hashut hates me. The coal price is on an all-time low, and my barge is in need of expensive repair work. It cannot get any worse than this!" complained the bargeman.

High Hashut heard his words, and proved him wrong. The barge sank. The bargeman swam for his life, as did the rest of his slaves that could swim.

"Woe unto me! Bargeless and dryless, hatless and coalless. Despair fills my life and Hashut hates me. The coal is on the bottom of the river, and my barge is gone. It cannot get any worse than this!" complained the bargeman.

High Hashut heard his words, and proved him wrong. The ropes attached to the sinking barge pulled the oxen into the river. The bargeman's slaves tried to rescue the draft animals, but drowned along with them. The bargeman swam on.

"Woe unto me! Slaveless and oxless, hopeless and propertyless. Despair fills my life and Hashut hates me. The oxen drowns, and my slaves are dead. It cannot get any worse than this!" complained the bargeman.

High Hashut heard his words, and proved him wrong. The coal floated to the surface of the water, and ignited. The river boiled. The bargeman was scalded and cooked.

"Woe unto me! Healthless and skinless, lifeless and coldless. Despair fills my life and Hashut hates me. The coal burns, and I am boiled nigh to death. It cannot get any worse than this!" complained the bargeman.

High Hashut heard his words, and proved him wrong. The bargeman's scalded body was picked up from the river bank by roving Hobgoblins and was eaten alive for dinner. For such is the fate of those who would not count their blessings, and despairs too easily.

- The Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Daemonsmith Uhr-Kulmbizharr the Blind, the renowned Chaos Dwarf author of fable stories during the foundation of Zharr-Naggrund*

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* Note the repetitive style of this fable. It is common in Chaos Dwarf literature and folk culture.


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This post was last modified: 01-24-2015 10:02 AM by Admiral.

01-24-2015 09:35 AM
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Dînadan
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RE: The Bargeman and the Misfortunes, by Uhr-KulmbizharrDînadan 01-24-2015

Nice work Admiral; reminds me off a joke I heard once (although in that the deity in question is more benevolent than great Hashut is here).


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01-24-2015 10:02 AM
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