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The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr
Author MessageThe Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr
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The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-KulmbizharrAdmiral 09-09-2016

The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr

Once upon a time, there was a coppersmith who cut and riveted copper plates to roof beams. His handiwork was fine, yet his judgement was flawed, and he was seldom careful or exact with what he said. His hands worked instead of his mind, so his tongue waggled unchecked, hither and thither, telling false and wrong were his hands made true and strong. Thus people who knew him well found his words hard to rely on, yet new customers were seldom warned by others of his flaw.

One day, the coppersmith were repairing the corroded roof of an old slave barrack. It was late in the evening, yet he had his trusty oil lamp to give a ruddy light. He worked deftly at loosening old plates.

"Is the cracked plate replaced now?" called out the owner of the slave barrack.

"It sure is already!" called back the malarkey coppersmith, when it fact it wasn't, but he was soon at the cracked plate and was sure to have it fixed in no time and saw no reason to answer with a measly "not yet", for surely no one would come up and check before it was finished?

Yet up came the client all of a sudden. He climbed up in the darkness, stomping on the new copper plates to inspect the results and taking some delight in instilling some fear of the Thunderbull in his shackled slaves below the roof.

"This is solid craftsmanship!" exclaimed the slave barrack owner and approached the roofer without even seeing where he put his feet.

"Solid as can be," replied the coppersmith absentmindedly, all attention on his work at hand and all else forgotten.

"Splendid! Now this roof can take the burden of a Bull Centaur!" said the slave barrack owner happily and stomped out onto the cracked copper plate, which broke in two and sent him howling into the slave cell below, where eight shackled Savage Orcs ripped him to pieces and devoured him alive. And for his lethal lies the malarkey coppersmith roofer was hunted down by the client's clan and had molten copper poured down his throat, for such is the fate of those who would take out victory in advance.

- The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Daemonsmith Uhr-Kulmbizharr the Blind, the renowned Chaos Dwarf author of fable stories during the foundation of Zharr-Naggrund*

____________________________________________
* This fable also have other lessons to learn, namely to always watch where you put your feet and never trust fully in the words of others.


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This post was last modified: 09-09-2016 06:46 AM by Admiral.

09-09-2016 06:44 AM
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RE: The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-KulmbizharrForgefire 09-09-2016

Another grim yet humorous tale Happy Good work Admiral!

09-09-2016 10:04 AM
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Fuggit Khan
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RE: The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-KulmbizharrFuggit Khan 09-09-2016

That's a new name for the Chaos Dwarf Name Generator list:
'Malarkey CopperThroat'

Wink


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This post was last modified: 09-09-2016 11:50 AM by Fuggit Khan.

09-09-2016 11:50 AM
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Admiral
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RE: The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-KulmbizharrAdmiral 09-10-2016

Haha, thanks! New name it is. Big Grin


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And thus there was Chaos. And Squats. Hobby Group Auxillia Work. On Dark Tides. Miscellaneous Commercial Sculpts. Flayman Tutorial.
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09-10-2016 02:43 AM
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RE: The Malarkey Coppersmith Roofer, by Uhr-KulmbizharrCarcearion 09-10-2016

Another really fun Dawi Zharr tale! These are always a pleasure to read.


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09-10-2016 06:33 PM
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