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The Cocky Marauder and the Foreign Traders, by Zhargonidus
Author MessageThe Cocky Marauder and the Foreign Traders, by Zhargonidus
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The Cocky Marauder and the Foreign Traders, by ZhargonidusAdmiral 07-27-2017

The Cocky Marauder and the Foreign Traders, by Zhargonidus

Once upon a time, our tribe had freshly mastered gunpowder and had begun to fashion tools of destruction around this new technology, yet everywhere else in the whole world, mortals were ignorant of this discovery. And so it was, that a war caravan rolled out from Uzkulak and set course into the vast expanses of the Chaos Wastes to trade trinkets, bronze axes, shields and vambraces for slaves, secrets and artefacts of great power with the scattered Human tribes up north.

Northward they rolled, and then eastward, for months on end. Months stretched into years, yet on and on the war caravan trundled, hunting, fighting and bartering as it went, until finally, it happened upon a vast encampment of eastern men. This was virgin territory for the merchants, and they halted outside the camp to display their wares and awe the locals with the ingenuity of their craft and the deadliness of their blades.

All the encamped tribesmen and even their bound thralls rushed out to watch the foreign traders, some with trepidation or fear, others with curiosity, jealousy, greed or hungering ambition. Fell shamans rattled their bone shambles, old Humans mumbled and chanted protective mantras. Womenfolk tittered and tattered, and children jeered and cheered at the tricks and otherworldly appearance of the Chaos Dwarf war caravan. The young menfolk put up a brave show, for they were armed with but the crudest of weapons and would have fared poorly indeed against armoured opponents, yet they held their stony masks and observed the newcomers' every move and strange equipment.

The negotiations started, and the households produced their belongings, their catch and their produce. As usual, the traders haggled for long with the natives, yet suddenly, one man had enough of this strange custom of tongue-waggling, and he strode up to the leading pair of Chaos Dwarfs without even a bone knife about his person.

"Why should we give up our property for the likes of these?" asked the cocky Marauder loudly.

The first foreign trader stood his ground at the man's approach, staring at him silently. Yet the second trader picked up a flared pistol from his belt.

"Just look at them! They're Dwarfs! Practically toddlers! We could twist their heads from their tiny necks without breaking a sweat!" laughed the cocky Marauder, and paced closer to the foreign traders.

"Halt!" called out the second foreign trader and pointed his pistol right at the man.

"Your trumpet does not scare me, midget," said the cocky Marauder with a sneer and approached the Chaos Dwarfs with a swagger.

Thereupon the Marauder grinned and pulled out his manhood and let water right into the face of the first foreign trader. Seeing this, the second foreign trader enraged and pulled the trigger, shredding the cocky Marauder to fleshy bits and bloody pieces, as a warning unto his kinsfolk. For such is the fate of those foolish enough to approach the unknown with arrogance.

- The Cocky Marauder and the Foreign Traders, by Despot Zhargonidus Doombeard, the renowned Chaos Dwarf author of fable stories, of our present time*

* This story is traditionally told to all Temple Acolytes, Daemonsmith apprentices and others who will deal with abysmal unknowns in their craft at an early age.

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This post was last modified: 02-13-2019 07:59 AM by Admiral.

07-27-2017 09:09 AM
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